Behind Play With Me
Why is intimacy so hard for gay men?
We grew up without examples of what queer love could look like. Many of us never saw two men being tender with each other in healthy, loving ways. So we learned to invent everything on our own. Along the way, guilt and shame got mixed into our ideas of sex and love. Even now, it can feel like wanting closeness is something to hide.
There’s also the world we live in. The apps, the parties, the constant options. It makes it easy to keep searching instead of staying. Add things like chemsex, and connection becomes even harder. It gives quick highs but takes us further from ourselves. Play With Me tries to offer a way back. It’s about being present, not perfect. About feeling instead of performing.
How did Play With Me start?
Play With Me was born from my own search for deeper connection. After years of chasing thrills, parties, and hookups, I realized I was surrounded by touch but missing intimacy. This book came from my healing journey, where I rediscovered the power of play. Through simple games, I found new ways to connect with partners in honest, joyful, and sometimes awkward moments. Many gay men know that feeling of disconnection, even when we’re never really alone. This book is an invitation to slow down and rebuild trust through curiosity and play.
What makes Play With Me different?
Where most of the gay world focuses on looks or performance, this book slows everything down. It’s not about perfect bodies or perfect sex. It’s about being real. The games help partners get curious with each other again. To rediscover excitement in touch, eye contact, laughter, and silence. It’s about turning foreplay into play, and making space for connection to feel new again.
What makes it interactive?
Every chapter is a mix of story and game. You don’t just read instructions, you live through a scene. You feel what it’s like to play it out, to notice what changes in you, what opens up. The illustrations bring the stories to life. They invite your imagination to wake up, to get turned on by presence instead of screens. The more you play, the more your brain learns to connect arousal with emotion, not just stimulus. It’s fun, human, and imperfect in the best way.
Why include personal stories?
Because they make it real. I didn’t want a cold manual. I wanted a book that feels alive. So I shared nights that shaped me, mistakes that taught me, and moments that made me want to write this. When we tell the truth, people recognize themselves in it. It’s not about being an expert, it’s about being honest.
How did your art shape the book?
I wanted this to feel like an art object, something sensual to touch and look at. Each page combines digital design with hand-drawn illustrations, full of warmth and imagination. The art shows emotion as much as bodies. It’s sexy, but it also invites softness. It’s the kind of book you can leave by your bed, flip open, and feel inspired again.
Who did you make this for?
For gay men who want more. The ones who feel something’s missing, even when everything looks fine. The ones who want to feel again, not just scroll. Maybe he’s in a relationship and wants to reconnect. Maybe he’s single and wants to explore his own desires. Whoever he is, I want him to feel seen, understood, and inspired to play again.
Why launch it on Kickstarter?
Because this project is about community. Kickstarter lets people help bring it to life together. It’s not just a book I’m making alone, it’s something we’re creating as a movement. Backing it means being part of a new conversation about intimacy, art, and healing. It also helps fund quality printing and illustrations so it becomes something beautiful you’ll want to keep by your bed.
What do you hope Play With Me brings to the community?
I hope it opens a conversation. One that goes beyond performance, beyond shame, into something softer and more real. This is a love letter to men who are done numbing out. A small step toward more joy, tenderness, and presence in how we love and touch each other.
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